2SB Spring Fashion Forecast

by Matt “Schwing” Howie

Matt is 2strokeBuzz's fashion editor, and a trendsetter in every sense of the word. This is his first of hopefully many reports on what the true scooterists are wearing.

We say it all the time here at 2SB, and we'll say it again: Fashion Matters!

Getting dressed for the rally.

No matter what you think, the culmination of what it means to be a scooterist happens at a rally. This where you have to look your best, crisp, sharp and in style, because, honestly, who wants to go to a rally looking like you don’t belong?

Being down with the scene

I like to keep my clothes fresh and my style clean. This means paying close attention to the latest in scooter style, be it Mod (more for those nights at the club), Skinhead (when it’s time to crack skulls), or Eurotrash (bust out the red jeans for those "special" times). You never know when one will me more appropriate than the other, or look cooler than the other.

Of course, that means also that you have to be what I call "free." I’m a wild kind of guy, I like to be able to go with the flow, and that means not being pigeonholed into a certain category, after all, I’m already a scooterist, the ultimate in cool.

Getting on the gear for the big day or weekend

As we all know, rallies are big events held over several days (usually beginning Friday night and ending Sunday morning). This means that you have to pay close attention to the clothes you will be bringing and wearing. After all, clothes are how other people see you, so be careful!

If it is a camping rally (there is also the city rally, but that will be covered in a later column) I like to prepare myself for anything that may come— be it rain, sleet or snow. But that does mean going to the reto-store to buy a postal jacket. (I keep mine ready for the killing spree I am going to go on when I snap). As I said earlier, you have to know when it’s time for Mod or Skin. I think rallies fall in the in-between land of either or neither. That being the case, I look carefully at how I want to present myself.

Lets start off with hair. Nothing means cool (or balding) like a smooth, almost-shaved head. I like my hair at about 3/8 of an inch long. This is a good length, you look tough, cool, and the benefit of short hair at rallies really comes through when no showers are around to wash your hair. Of course, a nappy wig hidden in your backpack is always good, in case you’re feeling like a mod...

The shirt

Only dweebs and poseurs will wear any kind of shirt that labels you as a scooterist at a rally— This includes the variations of Lambretta, Vespa, Puch and old rally shirts. Duh, we already know what you are! Of course, you might want to keep the pink pasleyed mod shirt at home, too. Rallies can get dirty and smelly.

I like a nice poly/cotton blend. Too much polyester in the summer can make you stink, and it sticks to your body. The color should be one that helps set off your eyes and facial features as well as accentuating either your well-groomed pecs or lovingly-crafted beer belly. I prefer darker colors, because in the confusion of the rally, the dirt, oil, spilled drink and vomit can wreak havoc on a clean white shirt. I sometimes even bring a different shirt for each day!

The Britches.

Called hosen in German, these aren’t your grandfathers wool pants anymore! Wool does not breathe too well in the summer, besides, it’s too hot. Makes muh balls sweat, too.

I like either dark-coloured jeans or old fatigues. Yeah, you might look like a backwoods moron in camo pants, but hey, the same for dirt applies to pants as well as shirts. Make sure, though, that "the boys" have freedom to swing and hang. The last thing you need is that "constricted feeling" when trying to get your groove on with one of the three unattached chicks at a rally. I bring two pairs.


It might get cold at night— or rain. In that event, I think there is only one clear answer to that. Bombers and Parkas! OI! OI! I don’t need to clarify that anymore. Also, though, think of the benefit of a jacket: more pockets means freedom from the cooler— you can stash your cans of the Old Style in the pockets!


This category includes shoes, socks and underwear. In regards to underwear, because the likely hood of meeting a woman at a rally is extremely doubtful, I say go with what your heart tells you. Either leave ‘em or bring ‘em. Most likely no one will see, know, or care either way!

Shoes and socks are vital, unless you’re going for that untamed "Farmer Skin" look. I like a pair of socks per day, plus one extra. Avoid your favorite hand-knitted socks that you’re ex-girlfriend’s mom still sends you from Germany. These are too nice to spoil in the dirt. I like generic black socks. As for shoes, I like my Vans, good practical shoes, and they also let everyone know that before I became a scooterist, I was a sk8 punk! OI! OI! Of course, you can’t forget combat boots. Safe, and practical for riding.

Looking good

If you take my ideas to heart, you will certainly be the fashion hit of any rally. You’ll feel like a real winner, and besides, in that odd chance that an unattached woman will be there, and be coherent, yet drunk enough to find you sexy, the first thing she’ll see is your smooth clothes and fresh style!

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